Have you ever noticed that little voice in your head? The one that’s always chattering away, sometimes giving you pep talks and sometimes delivering harsh criticism? That’s your self-talk, and it has a huge impact on your life.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Self-Talk

Your self-talk can be your best friend or your worst enemy. When it’s positive, it can boost your confidence, help you overcome challenges, and make you feel good about yourself. But when it’s negative, it can do the opposite, making you doubt yourself, feel anxious, and hold yourself back. All of this begins with questions you ask yourself. Just like Google, you’ll find the answers to the questions you ask.

Try this: Google a question like “What are the advantages of eating meat?” You’ll uncover a lot of data supporting your question. However, if you ask “What are the disadvantages of eating meat?” the same thing happens. Consider what you ask yourself when a challenge arrives in your life. Are you asking yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?” or “What can I learn from this situation?” This is why self-talk (that happens anyway) is so powerful.

Negative Self-Talk: The Inner Critic

That negative voice in your head, the one that’s always telling you you’re not good enough or that you’re going to fail, is your inner critic. It’s that part of you that’s learned to be overly critical of itself, often as a result of past experiences or beliefs.

The Dangers of Negative Self-Talk

The problem with negative self-talk is that it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re going to fail, you’re more likely to give up before you even try. And if you’re always putting yourself down, you’re going to have a hard time feeling good about yourself.

Harnessing the Power of Positive Self-Talk

The good news is that you can learn to control your self-talk and make it work for you instead of against you. The key is to catch yourself when you’re being negative and replace those thoughts with more positive ones.

Tips for Positive Self-Talk

Here are a few tips for developing a more positive self-talk:

  • Challenge negative thoughts: When you have a negative thought, don’t just accept it as truth. Ask yourself if it’s really true. Is there evidence to support it? Or is it just your inner critic talking?
  • Focus on the positive: Make a conscious effort to notice the good things in your life. When you catch yourself focusing on the negative, stop and switch your focus to something positive.
  • Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend: Would you ever talk to your friend the way you talk to yourself? Be kinder to yourself and treat yourself with the same respect you would give to others.

Practice Makes Perfect

Positive self-talk takes practice. It won’t happen overnight, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. When you change the narrative, you’ll change the outcome.

As a co-founder of The Constance Group, I'm at the forefront of revolutionizing sales and leadership strategies worldwide. Our difference? The proprietary "Sales Funnel©" methodology—an innovative approach that significantly enhances selling processes, complemented by our programs in leadership, negotiation, and sales development. Our distinct edge lies in our personalized approach. Prior to any keynote or workshop, I personally collaborate with stakeholders and attendees to develop a tailored, impactful program. This commitment goes beyond content delivery; it’s about crafting actionable insights that participants can immediately leverage for real-world impact. Rooted in behavioral science, our strategies offer profound insights into human behavior, empowering your team to navigate complex scenarios with positive outcomes. Our sessions are designed to be engaging and memorable, mixing potent messages with humor and narratives that not only resonate but also inspire lasting change.