30 Mar
Brian Parsley Fear, Motivation

Why Fear is a Great Motivator

Fear is a normal emotion we all experience throughout our lives. It could be fear of failure, fear of the unknown, or fear of taking risks. As an entrepreneur, it’s important to embrace your fears, understand them, and use them to fuel your success.

What if I told you, fear can be a great motivator when used correctly. It’s up to you to define what fear is to you and decide whether you’ll allow it to limit your progress. I want to explore three ways you can leverage fear to achieve your goals.

One of the best outcomes of fear is its ability to help you focus.

When you’re afraid of something, it’s difficult to think about anything else. Your mind is fixated on the object of your fear, and you become hyper-focused. Instead of fighting this feeling, you can use it to your advantage.

Begin to ask deeper questions when it begins to creep in your head. What am I really afraid of? Has this happened before? What are the outcomes if I ignore versus address the fear?

Use your fear to really hone in on your goals and what you need to do to achieve them. Fear can be a great motivator to push you forward and help you stay on track.

Fear can also assist you take action faster.

When you’re afraid, it’s easy to become paralyzed and do nothing. However, it’s important to recognize that taking action in spite of your fears is one of the best ways to overcome them.

Fear can be a powerful motivator to take action and face your fears head-on. If you’re afraid of public speaking, for example, force yourself to speak in front of others until you’re comfortable.

This sounds easy in theory but it’s not. I have suffered from panic attacks most of my life. It seems simple to say “face the fear”, but unless you’ve experienced the overwhelming fear from a panic attack it’s difficult to understand why we want to avoid the pain. You could say fear has power over our actions. So, it’s important to take the emotion out of the internal head chatter. What would you say or advice you would share if that same situation happened to a friend? Detach from the outcome and focus on the process.

The more you face your fears, the less power they have over you.

Fear can actually help you grow.

Facing your fears can be uncomfortable and scary, but it’s also one of the best ways to grow and develop as a person. By pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, you’ll learn new things about yourself and discover what you’re truly capable of. Fear is a great motivator to pursue personal and professional growth, and to achieve your goals. This is only true if you decide you’re going to look at fear as a tool and not a weapon against yourself.

So, the simple statement is fear is a great motivator when used correctly. Never let your fears limit your progress as an entrepreneur – instead, embrace them, understand them, and use them to your advantage.

By focusing on your goals, taking action, and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, you can use fear to achieve great things.

Remember, your definition of fear will determine your outcomes. Don’t let it hold you back!

21 Mar
Brian Parsley Fear, Success

Do You Feel Like a Fraud?

Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon that affects many individuals, regardless of their background, education, or experience. It is characterized by feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and the persistent belief that one’s success is due to luck or manipulation rather than their own abilities.

Imposter syndrome isn’t recognized as a clinical disorder, but it can have a significant impact on an individual’s mental health and well-being. Those who experience it often feel like they are frauds, constantly waiting to be discovered or exposed. This can lead to increased stress levels, decreased self-esteem, and decreased motivation, all of which can contribute to decreased performance at work or in personal life.

While anyone can experience imposter syndrome, it is especially common among high-achievers and individuals in competitive fields.

It’s not uncommon for successful individuals to feel like they do not deserve their success or that they are not as competent as others perceive them to be. This can be especially true for those who have achieved success early in their careers, as they may feel like they have reached the peak of their abilities and that their future success is uncertain.

However, I look at this as a positive. You can use this feeling to push yourself to try harder and know it’s okay to have thoughts of uncertainty. By the way, if you don’t doubt yourself occasionally, you may suffer from a major issue called narcissism. I say that with tongue and cheek, but it’s true.

The fear of being discovered as an imposter can be particularly intense for some individuals, as they may feel like they have to work twice as hard as their peers to prove themselves. I struggled with this for many years because of my grades in high school. Crazy when you think about it. Something that happened decades ago that means nothing in life, but it continued to impact me for years.

While it may not be possible to completely eliminate self-doubt, there are several strategies that individuals can use to manage their symptoms and build self-confidence.

These include:

  1. Reframing negative thoughts: Individuals can challenge their negative thoughts by reframing them in a more positive light. For example, instead of thinking “I don’t deserve this promotion,” they can think “I earned this promotion through hard work and dedication.”
  2. Focusing on achievements: Individuals can keep a record of their accomplishments and remind themselves of their successes when they feel like imposters. This can help them build confidence and counteract negative thoughts.
  3. Seeking support from others: Individuals can reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist for support and encouragement. Talking about their experiences can help individuals feel less alone and more understood.
  4. Practicing self-compassion: Individuals can practice self-compassion by being kind and understanding towards themselves when they make mistakes or experience setbacks. Instead of beating themselves up, they can remind themselves that everyone makes mistakes and that it is a normal part of the learning process.
  5. Celebrating successes: Individuals can celebrate their successes, no matter how small they may seem. This can help them feel more confident and less like imposters.

Just know it’s a common experience that affects many individuals. While it can have a significant impact on an individual’s well-being, focus on the strategies that can be used to manage its symptoms and build self-confidence.

At the end of the day, you’re very normal and we all struggle with most of the issues around how we view ourselves.

11 Mar
Brian Parsley Happiness

Why Do People Chase Happiness?

Even though people have many reasons to chase this elusive concept. It’s a fundamental human desire and a natural instinct to strive for a fulfilling life. Happiness is subjective and can mean different things to different people, but for the majority of us, it is a state of well-being, contentment, and joy.

The pursuit of happiness is not a new concept. For centuries, philosophers and theologians have been discussing the importance of happiness and its place in our lives. From Aristotle to Immanuel Kant, they all agree that happiness is the ultimate goal of human existence. It is the foundation of a good life and the key to our personal and collective well-being.

In modern times, the pursuit of happiness has taken on a new significance. With the advancements in science and technology, our society has become more materialistic and consumer-oriented, and the quest for happiness has become more intense. People are constantly searching for ways to improve their lives and achieve greater levels of happiness.

One of the reasons why people chase happiness is due to the influence of societal norms and expectations. In our society, happiness is seen as a symbol of success and a measure of one’s worth. People are constantly bombarded with images of happy and successful individuals in the media, and it is natural for us to want to emulate those lifestyles. We are told that if we work hard, accumulate wealth, and acquire material possessions, we will be happy. This belief is deeply ingrained in our collective consciousness, and as a result, many of us feel compelled to chase happiness.

Another reason why people chase happiness is due to the absence of it in their lives. For many, happiness is a fleeting and elusive experience, and they are constantly searching for ways to recapture it. This may be due to external factors such as a difficult life situation, financial difficulties, or relationship problems. Alternatively, it may be due to internal factors such as low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression. Regardless of the reason, the absence of happiness can be a driving force for individuals to pursue it.

People also chase happiness in an attempt to escape negative emotions and experiences. Life can be challenging, and we all experience difficult situations, pain, and loss. In an effort to avoid these unpleasant feelings, people often seek happiness as a way to escape their reality. They believe that if they can attain a state of happiness, they can avoid the negative emotions that come with life’s challenges.

The pursuit of happiness is also driven by a desire for personal growth and self-improvement. Many individuals see happiness as a way to better themselves and reach their full potential. They believe that by attaining happiness, they can become the best version of themselves. They see happiness as a way to unlock their true potential and live life to the fullest.

Finally, people chase happiness because it is a natural part of the human experience. We are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. The pursuit of happiness is a basic human instinct that is ingrained in our DNA. From a biological perspective, happiness is associated with the release of feel-good chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine and serotonin. These chemicals are associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation, and they drive us to seek happiness.

In conclusion, people chase happiness for a variety of reasons. Whether it is due to societal norms, the absence of happiness in their lives, a desire to escape negative emotions, personal growth, or basic human instincts, the pursuit of happiness is a universal phenomenon.

While the pursuit of happiness can be a challenging and often frustrating journey, it is ultimately a rewarding one that can bring greater meaning and purpose to our lives.

03 Mar
Brian Parsley Communication, Personal Development

Building rapport with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

There’s a pseudo science called Neuro-Linguistic Programming. This approach to communication and personal development first appeared in a book called, The Structure of Magic in 1975.

It found there is a direct relationship between neurological processes (neuro), language (linguistic) and behaviors that have been developed (programming). What was most interesting is that these can be changed to achieve specific outcomes in your life.

So how does this relate back to you? Think of it this way. Have you ever tried to communicate with someone who spoke a different language and they couldn’t understand what you wanted to say? Imagine you wanted to order a salad and ended up with BBQ instead.

This same example happens everyday in our own unconscious mind. We want to believe we are “ordering” amazing things for our lives like better relationships or amazing careers. But somehow it gets lost in translation from the conscious decision and what your mind actually hears.

I will play the devil’s advocate and present a different perspective on how you can build more meaningful relationships using NLP.

First, it’s important to remember that NLP is a set of techniques and strategies that are used to understand and influence human behavior and communication. While NLP can be a powerful tool in building rapport, it is not a silver bullet and should be used with caution.

One of the key principles of NLP is to match and mirror the communication style and body language of the person you are communicating with. This can help to establish rapport and build a connection, but it is important to avoid crossing the line into imitation or manipulation. If the other person feels like you are trying to be someone you are not, it can undermine the rapport that you are trying to build. A basic example of this is if you’re talking with someone who is sitting back with their arms crossed. You casually mirror that same body language. This may sound a bit silly, but people like people are similar. So the unconscious mind is thinking….“They are like me.”

Another NLP technique for building rapport is to use the same language patterns and terminology as the person you are communicating with. This can help to create a sense of common ground and make the other person feel understood and valued. However, it is important to be authentic and avoid using language or terminology that you are not familiar with, as this can come across as insincere. Authenticity is the key for any relationship. But like the mirroring technique this is easy to do and actually forces you to listen with more intent as well.

It is also important to remember that NLP is not a substitute for genuine interest and empathy. While NLP techniques can help to build rapport, they will not be effective if you are not truly interested in the other person and their perspective. To build genuine rapport, it is important to actively listen, show empathy, and be authentic in your interactions.

At the end of the day, NLP can be a useful tool in building new relationships and strengthening your current ones.

By matching and mirroring communication style and language patterns, using authentic language and showing genuine interest, you can build rapport and create meaningful connections with others. However, if you have nefarious intentions or are not genuine in your communication, it’s manipulation.

I am passionate about this topic and work with many students to assist them to master the art of relationships. If you have an interest in learning more, please give me a call directly.

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