17 Oct
Brian Parsley Communication, Leadership, Motivation

Shifting From Manager to Servant Leader – A Journey of Exceptional Leadership

In my numerous interactions with professionals across various fields, I often pose a question that invariably elicits agreement from everyone: “Have you ever had a bad manager or leader in your career?”

It’s always a 100% resounding “yes!” The room fills with shared experiences and anecdotes of leadership gone awry.

However, when I flip the question and ask, “How many of you consider yourselves to be bad managers or leaders?” the room falls into silence (with a few chuckles), punctuated by puzzled looks and hesitancy. No hands are raised, no affirmations are voiced.

This stark contrast in responses sheds light on a pervasive disconnect in our perceptions of leadership. No one sets out with the intention of being viewed as a bad leader, yet the prevalence of such experiences suggests a gap between intention and perception.

What, then, separates exceptional leadership from mediocrity? The answer often lies in the misunderstanding and misapplication of the roles of a manager versus a leader. In this exploration, let’s delve into the nuances of this dichotomy, unravel the essence of real leadership, and offer actionable insights to guide the transition from being merely a manager to evolving into an incredible leader.

1. Understanding the Distinction: Manager vs. Leader:

A manager holds a title, but a leader holds respect. It’s really that simple. Those who rely solely on their titles to assert authority often find themselves justifying their roles and struggling to gain long-term respect. If you have to say you’re in charge, you’re not!

Phrases like “I am in charge here” are telltale signs of leadership that leans on position rather than influence. On the other end of the spectrum, leaders who avoid confrontation and seek friendship over respect may be “liked” but not truly respected. Striking the right balance is key to effective leadership.

2. Embracing Servant Leadership:

Servant leadership is about serving others and empowering them to reach their full potential. It involves self-responsibility, intuition, perseverance, and effective communication. Servant leaders prioritize the needs of their followers, foster trust, and create an environment conducive to growth and innovation. Understanding and embodying the principles of servant leadership can help leaders gain the respect and willingness of their followers. But this also requires an investment to understand what’s most important to each person that falls under your responsibility. We tend to lead based on our own bias and not what is required for that person.

3. Personalized Motivation:

Recognizing that everyone has unique challenges and communication styles is crucial. Servant leaders tap into the individual preferences of their followers to motivate them effectively. This involves active listening, empathetic communication, and tailored encouragement. There’s a simple trick you can use to uncover the unique needs of each person.

Focus on responding to comments and questions with additional curious questions. I mention “curious” because you’re not interviewing them nor do you want them to feel it’s an interrogation. Here’s an example: “I am really looking forward to growing within the organization.” Instead of just acknowledging this seemingly great comment, what does it mean? So, your response would be: “That’s amazing! Curious, tell me more about that?” Once they answer you can build on that with more direct questions to identify the reasons behind it. How do they define growth? What timelines? What outcomes would they like to see from the growth? You get the idea.

The more you uncover their dominant reason for growth you can create a plan for them. Not to mention you’ll understand their “why”…that’s the driving force behind real leadership.

By addressing the specific needs and aspirations of each team member, leaders can foster a sense of belonging and commitment, driving collective success.

4. Three Takeaways for Exceptional Leadership:

a) Cultivate Self-Responsibility: Strive for personal growth and well-being to better serve others. Tie back their own “why” to the job so it’s more than just showing up for a paycheck.

b) Harness Intuition and Perseverance: Develop a keen sense of intuition balanced with rational thinking. Let people know it’s okay to fail. Let them know to embrace perseverance, learn from failures, and adapt your approach to fulfill unmet needs.

c) Master Effective Communication: Communicate your vision clearly and listen actively. But many times that’s subjective. Remember that 55% of communication is body language and 38% is tonality. That’s huge in leadership because people need to feel your leadership. People are always watching what you’re doing and not doing. It may not be fair, but you’re being judged not on intent rather actions. So pay close attention to how you’re communicating non-verbally and how you “say things”.

Becoming an exceptional leader involves more than just holding a title; it requires a shift in mindset and approach. The most common trait I see working with successful leaders is the ability to adapt and adjust their leadership.

Your flexibility to meet your peers where they currently are is something most Leaders just are not capable of doing. By understanding the principles of true servant leadership and applying personalized motivation strategies, leaders can earn the respect and commitment of their followers. The journey from manager to servant leader is challenging but immensely rewarding, paving the way for a positive and impactful leadership experience.

02 Oct
Brian Parsley Communication, Motivation, Workspace

Leveraging Human Behavior to Create Powerful Advantages in the Workspace

Leveraging Human Behavior to Create Powerful Advantages in the Workspace

In the modern corporate landscape, merely clocking in and out isn’t the ticket to success. To truly grow in your career and manifest the outcomes you desire, you must harness the most predictable element in any business setting: human behavior. By mastering communication, nurturing your reputation, and delving deeper into human connection, you can carve out a significant advantage in the workspace.

1. Communication is More Than Words

Effective communication transcends mere verbal exchanges. A staggering 55% of communication is non-verbal, rooted in body language. Another 38% hinges on tonality, underscoring the importance of how something is said. This is precisely why emails or texts, devoid of tone, are dangerous in business. A seemingly innocuous message might inadvertently derail a deal or strain a relationship.

Furthermore, it’s crucial to avoid making assumptions based on personal biases. We often believe we have a grasp on a situation or individual, but our perceptions can be clouded by our own experiences and beliefs. As the adage goes, “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.”

2. The Power of Reputation in the Digital Age

In the digital era, your online presence is akin to the front page of a newspaper. What story are you telling the world? Platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram offer glimpses into our professional and personal lives. The notion of “that’s my personal life” no longer holds water. Every post, like, and share contributes to the mosaic of your digital reputation.

However, authenticity is paramount. Crafting a disingenuous online persona is not only exhausting but also transparent to the discerning eye. While it’s essential to be genuine, it’s equally crucial to tread carefully. A misplaced comment or an ill-advised post can distort perceptions, leading to misconceptions about your true character.

3. Understanding and Leveraging Human Nature

At the heart of human interactions lies a phenomenon known as spontaneous trait inference. This psychological process involves instantly attributing characteristics to someone based on minimal information. For instance, if someone is seen helping an elderly person, they’re immediately labeled as kind or compassionate. By being aware of this, you can present yourself in ways that align with the traits you want to be associated with, effectively leveraging this cognitive shortcut to your advantage. Again, it’s not about doing “things” that make you appear a better person. It’s about understanding how people think. So having top of mind awareness on your actions regardless if you believe someone is watching you will drive your reputation as well as your own confidence. The basic rule is, “If your gut says you should say it or do it, make it happen.”

Moreover, it’s essential to dispel the myth that others are vastly different from us. At our core, we all grapple with the same fears: “Am I good enough?” and “What if I fail?” Recognizing these universal insecurities allows for deeper connections and more effective communication.

Crafting Your Ideal Environment

To sculpt your ideal professional environment, you must first reverse engineer your aspirations. What status, position, or reputation do you covet? Once you’ve crystallized your goals, chart out the requisite actions. Then, weave a strategy around the aforementioned principles to propel you towards your objectives.

When we have a better understanding of how to leverage human behavior everything changes. It’s not just an advantage; it’s a necessity. By honing your communication skills, managing your digital reputation, and tapping into the intricacies of human psychology, you can not only navigate but also get more wins in your life personally and professionally.

29 Aug
Unraveling the Mystery of Lost Motivation: The Power of Commitment
Brian Parsley Motivation, Personal Development

Unraveling the Mystery of Lost Motivation: The Power of Commitment

Have you ever found yourself at the beginning of a new job or project, overflowing with passion, brimming with ideas, and full of unwavering determination? Fast forward a few weeks or months and you find your enthusiasm dwindling, your commitment fading, and your motivation nearly extinct. Why is it that so many of us lose the initial momentum?

Why does that spark of motivation disappear?

The answer is simpler than you might think: It’s not the lack of motivation that’s the issue, but a lack of commitment. I know that’s not a popular answer because it’s easier to blame others or circumstances for your declining desire to continue at the same level of excitement in the beginning.

The Initial Euphoria

The beginning of any new venture, whether it’s a fitness program, a new job, or a creative project, is often marked by a surge of motivation. The novelty and excitement make it easy to dream, to set goals, and to visualize the path ahead. Everything feels within reach and your resolve seems unbreakable.

However, when reality hits and the initial thrill starts to wear off, the demands of your goal become apparent. It’s at this point that your motivation tends to falter. So, understand this is very normal to experience.

The Reality Check

Let’s consider an example. You’re excited about adopting a healthier lifestyle. You’ve purchased your new running shoes, signed up for the gym, and stocked your refrigerator with nutritious food. But a few weeks in, the early mornings, the sore muscles, and the sacrifice of your favorite foods start to weigh heavily on you. You’ve hit your first roadblock, and suddenly, your resolution seems harder than you anticipated. We’ve all been there at some point.

What’s happened here? You didn’t lose your motivation. Instead, you’ve encountered the stark reality of commitment. When things get difficult we tend to rationalize or justify the lack of motivation. Why? Because we must have a reason to blame for potentially falling short.

The Power of Commitment

While motivation is the driving force that gets you started, commitment is the glue that keeps you stuck to your path, even when the going gets tough. It involves making a promise to yourself that you’ll see things through, regardless of the obstacles.

Commitment means maintaining your workout schedule even when you’d rather hit the snooze button. Your feet hurt? Doesn’t matter. It’s about sticking to your diet plan when you’re tempted by unhealthy snacks. It means persisting with your business idea even when you face setbacks. It’s about staying true to your relationship, despite the inevitable disagreements and struggles. Every single person suffers from this affliction. You’re not unique in this so all you have to do is adopt simple strategies to ensure you don’t stay unmotivated.

If you find your motivation waning, it’s a signal that your commitment is faltering. You’re not just battling external challenges; you’re wrestling with your internal commitment to persevere.

Reigniting Your Commitment

So, how do you reignite your commitment when you feel it wavering?

Revisit Your ‘Why’: When the journey gets tough, remind yourself why you started. Your ‘why’ is the reason you’re willing to invest time, effort, and sometimes, even discomfort. I find even mapping out what could come up to question our motivation. That way when it does happen you can say to yourself, “I knew this was going to happen and I am committed not to accept the excuse.”

Make a Daily Promise: Commitment is not a one-time deal; it’s a daily promise you make to yourself. You never get better in a day. It’s day by day. That means it’s committing to yourself and your word. It’s not about convenience or mood; it’s about unwavering resolve. Each day, commit to taking a step forward, however small, towards your goal.

Embrace the Struggle: Realize that struggles are not setbacks; they’re the milestones of your journey. They’re the test of your commitment. Isn’t that an interesting perspective? Each struggle you overcome strengthens your resolve and takes you one step closer to your goal.

If you’re feeling stuck, remember that growth is a constant of ups and downs. It’s not about swift progress, but consistent effort. It’s about not just dreaming big, but also committing to the hard work that brings those dreams to life.

Motivation is very temporary. So, as you embark on your journey of personal or professional growth, ask yourself: Are you merely motivated or are you truly committed?

07 Aug
Brian Parsley Fear, Goals, Motivation, Personal Development, Purpose

What Sets You Apart: Celebrating Your Distinctiveness

Navigating our way in a world that often values conformity, we sometimes lose sight of our individuality. We’ve all fallen into the trap of comparison at one point or another, gauging our worth against others’ achievements. But in doing so, we’re playing a losing game. Here’s the truth: you’re not designed to fit a mold. You’re designed to shatter it. What makes you unique? Let’s dive into three core factors.

1. Your Unique Experiences:

Your experiences – in business, relationships, or personal endeavors – are your fingerprints in the world. They’re distinctly yours, setting you apart from the crowd. It may not feel that way sometimes (and that’s normal), but you are unique. Look at the journey you’ve taken so far in life. One step to the left could’ve changed your life. Imagine if you decided to move to a different city than you envisioned? What if you didn’t meet your partner and built a different relationship? My point is, never underestimate the power of your uniqueness you bring.

Take Steve Jobs, for example. His unique journey of co-founding Apple, being ousted from it, starting another company (NeXT), and eventually returning to Apple to lead it to unprecedented heights, set him apart. His unique experiences, both triumphs, and failures, became his defining features in the business world.

In a relationship context, consider a couple who met, not in their teens, but in their late 70s at a community center. Their shared experience of finding love at an unexpected age and place was unique to them, a defining feature of their relationship that stood out from typical narratives.

2. Your Challenges:

The challenges you face – and how you tackle them – distinguish you significantly. The resilience, creativity, and tenacity you show when dealing with obstacles are testaments to your individuality. We all struggle with believing our issues are unique to just us or others don’t relate. Reality says something different and we can model after others who have pushed through their challenges.

Consider SpaceX’s early days. Elon Musk’s company faced three failed launches before finally achieving orbit with the fourth. The repeated failures didn’t discourage him. Instead, these challenges helped define SpaceX’s unique trajectory in the aerospace industry.

On a personal relationship level, imagine a family dealing with the challenges of long-distance relationships due to job commitments. Despite the difficulty, they found unique ways to maintain their bond – regular family video calls, shared online experiences, simultaneous movie nights – their response to the challenge set them apart from other families.

3. Your Pain:

Pain and hardship, while tough to endure, contribute significantly to your uniqueness. They deepen your perspective, instill resilience, and become a part of your personal narrative. My wife told me it’s a lot like a kidney stone. It’s painful, but it too will eventually pass. So will our pain and it’s really not about the pain anyway. It’s about the meaning you associate with it directly. Change the story and you change the narrative that goes along with it.

Take a look at Jack Ma, founder of Alibaba. Rejected from multiple jobs, including KFC, he faced numerous obstacles and failures before eventually finding success. His journey, punctuated by painful rejections and failures, set him apart and shaped Alibaba’s unique corporate ethos.

In terms of relationships, consider a couple who lost their child. Their shared pain and grief undoubtedly set them apart, but so did their healing process. They turned their heartache into action, setting up a charitable foundation in their child’s name, channeling their pain into something meaningful, a unique response that not only set them apart but also benefited others.

So, when you find yourself succumbing to the comparison game, remember: your unique experiences, the challenges you’ve faced, and even the pain you’ve endured – these are your distinctive attributes. They make you who you are, setting you apart in business, relationships, and life.

Your journey won’t align with everyone’s expectations or standards, and that’s okay. What matters is that you stay true to yourself, listening to the internal voice that champions growth and authenticity.

You’re not here to fit in – you’re here to stand out, break molds, and celebrate your uniqueness. So, keep being you. Keep being different. And remember, the world needs your unique imprint.

30 Mar
Brian Parsley Fear, Motivation

Why Fear is a Great Motivator

Fear is a normal emotion we all experience throughout our lives. It could be fear of failure, fear of the unknown, or fear of taking risks. As an entrepreneur, it’s important to embrace your fears, understand them, and use them to fuel your success.

What if I told you, fear can be a great motivator when used correctly. It’s up to you to define what fear is to you and decide whether you’ll allow it to limit your progress. I want to explore three ways you can leverage fear to achieve your goals.

One of the best outcomes of fear is its ability to help you focus.

When you’re afraid of something, it’s difficult to think about anything else. Your mind is fixated on the object of your fear, and you become hyper-focused. Instead of fighting this feeling, you can use it to your advantage.

Begin to ask deeper questions when it begins to creep in your head. What am I really afraid of? Has this happened before? What are the outcomes if I ignore versus address the fear?

Use your fear to really hone in on your goals and what you need to do to achieve them. Fear can be a great motivator to push you forward and help you stay on track.

Fear can also assist you take action faster.

When you’re afraid, it’s easy to become paralyzed and do nothing. However, it’s important to recognize that taking action in spite of your fears is one of the best ways to overcome them.

Fear can be a powerful motivator to take action and face your fears head-on. If you’re afraid of public speaking, for example, force yourself to speak in front of others until you’re comfortable.

This sounds easy in theory but it’s not. I have suffered from panic attacks most of my life. It seems simple to say “face the fear”, but unless you’ve experienced the overwhelming fear from a panic attack it’s difficult to understand why we want to avoid the pain. You could say fear has power over our actions. So, it’s important to take the emotion out of the internal head chatter. What would you say or advice you would share if that same situation happened to a friend? Detach from the outcome and focus on the process.

The more you face your fears, the less power they have over you.

Fear can actually help you grow.

Facing your fears can be uncomfortable and scary, but it’s also one of the best ways to grow and develop as a person. By pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, you’ll learn new things about yourself and discover what you’re truly capable of. Fear is a great motivator to pursue personal and professional growth, and to achieve your goals. This is only true if you decide you’re going to look at fear as a tool and not a weapon against yourself.

So, the simple statement is fear is a great motivator when used correctly. Never let your fears limit your progress as an entrepreneur – instead, embrace them, understand them, and use them to your advantage.

By focusing on your goals, taking action, and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, you can use fear to achieve great things.

Remember, your definition of fear will determine your outcomes. Don’t let it hold you back!

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