31 Jan
Brian Parsley Goals

Achieve Your Goals by Living in the Moment

So, you have a goal. Maybe you want to launch a business, get promoted at work, or find the love of your life. Whatever it is, you’re determined to make it happen as soon as possible. But before you rush ahead, it’s important to remember that great things take time and we all have our own stories that shape how we approach our goals and how we live our lives. Let’s take a look at five simple tips (reminders) for achieving your goals through living in the moment.

Don’t Rush

It can be easy to get caught up in getting what you want quickly and feel discouraged when progress isn’t made as quickly as expected. Don’t forget that Rome wasn’t built in a day! Set achievable short-term goals and celebrate small successes along the way. This will help keep momentum going and boost motivation when times get tough.

You’ll Never Be 100% Ready!

No matter how much planning and preparation goes into an endeavor, there will always be something else that needs to be done or improved upon before taking action. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on taking imperfect action towards your goals every single day even if it feels uncomfortable or scary. I see people are are in a constant state of paralysis by analysis. Trust that success will follow!

We All Have A Painful Story

Everyone has their own story of pain and struggle which shapes their experiences and behavior today. The challenge is this bias of how you see and react to your world can do more damage than growth. Rather than comparing yourself to others who appear more successful (or worse yet, beating yourself up for not having achieved more yet), practice self-compassion by acknowledging your struggles but remembering that they don’t define you. You are defined by what you consistently do, not because you made a wrong decision. You are capable of greatness!

Chase Your Dreams Not People

Your dreams should bring meaning and fulfillment into your life—not other people! It’s tempting to compare yourself with what others have accomplished but remember that comparison is the thief of joy; instead stay focused on doing what makes YOU happy without worrying about what other people think or do. It’s so easy to look at a snapshot online and fall in love with someone else’s life….only to realize they are just as screwed up as you. Live authentically according to your values and beliefs—the rest will follow naturally!

A Bad Day Isn’t A Bad Life

Having bad days is inevitable; no matter who we are or how hard we try, there will be times when things don’t go according to plan. That doesn’t mean they’re bad days forever—it just means they’re part of the journey. Keep going even when faced with obstacles because success often requires making mistakes so we can learn from them faster and better next time around.

Achieving your goals takes hard work, dedication, and above all else patience. The key is trusting the process even when it feels like nothing is happening or progress seems too slow.

Remember that great things take time so don’t rush ahead; instead focus on living in the moment by taking imperfect actions each day towards your goals while also practicing self-compassion along the way.

As you get older you’ll remember the days you felt “overwhelmed” 10 years ago and you giggle because you’re looking through a new lens.

You got this—go out there and chase those dreams.

23 Jan
Why Do You Put Things Off?
Brian Parsley Procrastinator

Why Do You Put Things Off?

It’s easy to say that we’re too busy to do certain things, but the reality is that there’s something deeper going on when we procrastinate. Whether it’s starting a new project, finishing a task on our to-do list, or taking care of a personal errand, procrastination is something we’ve all struggled with at one point or another. So why do we do it? And more importantly, how can we overcome it?

Here are 3 strategies you can use to start motivated and stay motivated to do what must be done:

1. Understand your triggers

You must understand what the “triggers” are before you can address the issue. Is it a specific type of task? A task that requires a lot of time and energy? Or maybe it’s a task that you simply don’t enjoy doing. Once you understand your triggers, you can start to develop a plan for how to deal with them. If you find yourself overwhelmed and retreating to social media to anesthetize you from the pain of doing that “thing” remember it’s only a distraction from facing the real issue. Be honest with yourself when you unpack the real reasons.

2. Set smaller goals

When we’re facing a large, daunting task, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and push it off until later. One way to combat this is by breaking the task down into smaller, more manageable goals. By setting smaller goals, you’ll make progress on the overall task without getting overwhelmed—and you’ll start to feel better about yourself in the process.

It’s not even really about the goals. It’s about getting wins. Once you begin to create that success no matter how small, you build momentum. This is called the aggregation of marginal gains. It’s huge, but requires you to really focus on what you “can do” right now no matter how small it may seem.

3. Find an accountability partner

This is a tough one! On the one hand you want someone to motivate you, but you get embarrassed. They may judge you. You can thank your ego for that. So what must you do?

Have the top of mind awareness to put the emotions to the side. Look at your challenges as just that. Challenges. When you have someone that’s not emotionally involved and you also look at it that way too, you’ll have the best shot of consistency.

It’s one thing to tell yourself that you’re going to do something; it’s another thing entirely to have someone else holding you accountable for actually doing it. If you’re struggling to stay motivated, find someone who will help keep you on track—whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a professional coach. Having someone in your corner will make all the difference when it comes time to finally tackle that procrastinated task.

At the end of the day, you’re not alone. We all struggle with procrastination from time to time—but that doesn’t mean we have to give in to it. The worst thing you can do is put a label on yourself and say you always procrastinate or you work better under pressure by waiting. These may help you rationalize your situation, but you certainly won’t grow.

By understanding our triggers, setting smaller goals, and finding an accountability partner, we can overcome procrastination and get things done! But remember, we are not perfect nor should you try to be. If you catch yourself, then remind yourself what you can do to get out of the situation and back on track to achieve what you desire.

12 Jan
Brian Parsley Perfectionist, Procrastinator

You’re Not a Procrastinator, You’re a perfectionist!

Have you ever found yourself putting off tasks until the last minute? By the way, most people who do that believe it sparks a creative side under pressure. But does it? Or is it just an excuse? Do you ever tell yourself that you’ll start that exercise program or project tomorrow? If so, you might be a procrastinator. Or, you might be a perfectionist. It’s tough to tell the difference, but once you know how to identify the signs, it’s easier to address the issue and get moving on your goals.

Signs You’re a Perfectionist

  1. You’re never satisfied with your work. However, this type of person is typically stuck in paralysis by analysis. They are so afraid it won’t be correct they wait to the point it’s too late.
  2. You’re afraid of making mistakes. This isn’t driven by other people’s opinions either. It’s way worse than that. This is a self-induced challenge that you will not live up to your own standards. (which by the way, are typically too difficult for anyone to achieve)
  3. You have trouble delegating tasks. You rationalize this by stating that it’s easier for you to do it correctly than risking someone else screwing it up. You believe it makes you organized, but others see you as a control freak.

Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism

  1. Set realistic standards for yourself. This is true for both sides of the coin. Figure out what’s possible and take action no matter how small. But if you don’t have clear expectations of what must be done, you’ll never move forward.
  2. Talk to someone who can help keep you accountable. This is really a two part strategy. Having an accountability partner is an incredibly important strategy because you lie to yourself too much. You can rationalize anything you like, but someone else who isn’t involved emotionally can realign your actions. But you must also have a penalty associated with NOT doing what you need to do. This is the reverse of procrastination because if you’re a perfectionist, you need clear expectations and deadlines. So don’t leave them up in the air.
  3. Celebrate your accomplishments—no matter how small! This is the most overlooked opportunity to eliminate procrastination or perfection syndrome. When you feel like you’re making progress it builds momentum. Too many times you discount what you’ve accomplished and makes you avoid the task even more. Even something as simple as acknowledging you began…that’s something. Who’s to say that’s not the best place to be at that moment?

You must understand that perfection doesn’t exist. However, your potential does. We all have flaws and you know this, but practice self-compassion. You’re the worst enemy you can face. Be kind to yourself and give some grace when things are perfect.

We are only on this planet a certain amount of time and today is one day closer to the end. I mention that not to be negative, but a positive push that perfection isn’t always the end all be all. It’s about marginal gains over time. But that time must start now. Today is the day to focus on what you can do versus what you should do and don’t.

04 Jan
Brian Parsley Sales

Here’s why you may suck at sales

Sales folks often end up not making any sales at all

Have you ever gone into a store, only to have the salesperson back away and give you space? It’s odd, right? You would think they would want to engage with you and help you find what you’re looking for. But sometimes, salespeople are so worried about being too pushy that they avoid potential conflict at all costs. As a result, they often end up not making any sales at all. It’s a frustrating cycle, but it’s one that can be broken by changing your approach. Instead of backing away from conflict, try to see it as an opportunity to connect with the customer. By engaging in a friendly conversation, you’ll be more likely to build rapport and make a sale. So next time you’re tempted to back away from a potential customer, remember that connecting on a personal level can go a long way.

There are a few key things you can do to make sales easier

Making sales doesn’t have to be difficult or painful. In fact, there are a few key things you can do to make it easier. First, learn about the product inside and out. The more you know about it, the better equipped you’ll be to answer questions and address concerns. Second, connect your product to your customer. You do this by sharing stories that connect the prospect vs features. The more comfortable you are with your stories, the more confident you’ll be when it comes time to make the sale. Finally, be persistent. Don’t give up if someone says “no”; continue to follow up and look for ways to add value first. When someone says “no” it just means they don’t see the value. Did you ask questions? Did you uncover a pain they have that they don’t want? Did you find a pain they didn’t know about yet? Think of questions that actually add value versus just puking on the customer with how amazing you or the product is.

Sales is all about building relationships with potential customers and providing value

Sales is all about people. This concept isn’t new and at its heart, sales is about building relationships with potential customers and providing value first. But what really is value? It’s not what you may think. It’s about uncovering what’s most important to them by asking questions. The best salespeople are the ones who are able to create a rapport with their customers and make them feel like they are part of something larger. They ask questions that allow the prospect to uncover pain they need to fix. People want to do business with people they like, and they are attracted to those who are like them. As a result, the best salespeople are often the ones who are able to mirror their customers and make them feel comfortable. By establishing a relationship of trust, salespeople can overcome objections and close more deals.

Don’t be afraid to ask for the sale – the worst thing that can happen is that someone says “no”

The best closing question is “What else do you need to know to be convinced I can be your (blank)?” They can only answer that one of two ways. The first is, “no, I am ready” and the second would be a potential objection. The answer to that question will also give you the information you need to address any objections and close the sale. The worst thing that can happen when you ask for the sale is that someone says “no”. However, even if someone says it, you have gained valuable information about what objections need to be addressed in order to make the sale. Asking for the sale is an essential part of the sales process, so don’t be afraid to do it.

Being great at sales doesn’t mean that you have to be pushy or use high-pressure tactics. In fact, most people are turned off by those things. We like to say, “Slow down to speed up.” That basically means, allow the process to work itself out. Slow down and ask curious questions. It’s not an interview or interrogation, rather a conversation of questions that allow us to unlock the sale. When you do this combined with taking the time to build rapport to connect, you’ll see your sales begin to grow.

If you’re willing to step outside what makes you comfortable and focus on building rapport and providing value, you’ll be more successful in making sales. Master the art of asking questions, and you’ll win more deals because you’re seen as an expert.

19 Dec
Brian Parsley Fear, Goals

Tips For Overcoming Fear And Achieving Goals

Fear is a natural emotion we all experience throughout our lives. Whether it’s fear of public speaking, fear of failure, or fear of being judged, it can be difficult to overcome. However, it’s important to remember that fear is nothing more than an obstacle to be overcome on the road to success. In fact, fear should be a sign of excitement versus panic.

Here are some tips for overcoming fear and achieving your goals.

1. Understand Your Fear

The first step to overcoming fear is to understand what it is that you’re afraid of. Once you unpack your fear, you can begin to address it and find ways to overcome it. But many times our fear is a shield for what’s underneath the surface. So really sit in the feeling when it arises. Ask yourself, “Why is this happening?” Really consider the reason for the fear. Is it real? Will you die? Or is it more emotionally driven?

2. Face Your Fear Head-On

Once you know what your fear is, it’s time to face it head-on. This may mean taking some time to do some research on your fear, separate the emotional piece and look at it from an outside perspective. The important thing is that you don’t let your fear control you; instead, you take control of your fear. You do that by not avoiding the potential pain. That’s all fear really is….your mind’s way of protecting you from physical harm. But you’re probably more concerned about your social standing and not surviving in the wild.

3. Take Small Steps

When facing your fear, it’s important to take small steps rather than try to tackle everything at once. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, start by speaking in front of someone you trust, such as a friend or family member. Then, gradually work your way up to larger groups. Toastmasters is a wonderful way to not just build skills, but create incredible confidence in sharing your thoughts to others. It’s in every city around the world and changed my life in a big way.

4. Persevere Through Setbacks

There will inevitably be setbacks along the way as you work to overcome your fears and achieve your goals. It’s important to persevere through these setbacks and not let them deter you from your ultimate goal. Remember that every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow so that you can eventually achieve success. After winter comes spring, but it’s a challenge to see through the cold dark nights at times. Everything will pass. Sometimes it’ll feel like a kidney stone, but it’ll pass.

Fear is a natural emotion and you don’t need to avoid it. We all experience it; however, it’s important to remember that fear is nothing more than a self produced obstacle to be overcome. Imagine next time you’re facing a fearsome task but are committed to achieving your goal, follow these tips and achieve success: understand your fear; face your fear head-on; take small steps; and persevere through setbacks.

You don’t need motivation. Just top of mind awareness and commitment. Remind yourself that whatever the fear is around you it’s worth the effort. It’s worth the risk to look foolish. Because regret is way more painful to live with than fear alone.

If you apply these strategies, you’ll overcome any obstacle and achieve anything you set your mind to!

14 Dec
Brian Parsley Fear, Public Speaking

Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Are you someone who gets nervous before giving a presentation at work? The good news is you’re not alone. In fact, public speaking is one of the most common fears people have. The great news is that there are things you can do to overcome your fear of public speaking and become a confident, successful presenter.

This is so incredibly important because it allows you to transfer your ideas and thoughts to others. When you think of “public speaking” you think of large crowds, but this could be as simple as a meeting with your peers. Either way people are going to respond based on your ability to share your information and how much you appear to believe what you’re talking about.

The first step to overcoming your fear of public speaking is to join Toastmasters.

Toastmasters is an organization that provides a supportive environment where you can practice your communication and leadership skills. When you join Toastmasters, you’ll be given the opportunity to give speeches, lead meetings, and conduct presentations—all in a safe, supportive setting. With regular practice, you’ll develop the skills and confidence you need to succeed as a leader and speaker.

Another great way to overcome your fear of public speaking is to find a mentor who can help you learn the ropes. A mentor can provide guidance, support, and advice as you work to develop your skills as a speaker and leader. If you don’t know anyone who would make a good mentor, reach out to your local Toastmasters club or look for mentors online.

There are plenty of resources available to help you find the perfect mentor for your needs. In fact, you would be shocked how many people who you look up to would love to help you, but you must ask. I remember asking my “to be” mentor whom I didn’t really know except from a networking meeting many years ago to mentor me. He was the CEO of a large financial institution in Charlotte, but he was more than willing to help. In fact, I recall him saying to me no one has asked that before.

In addition to finding a mentor, it’s also helpful to study the body language and styles of great speakers. This will give you some insights into how successful speakers carry themselves and how they use their words and gestures to engage their audiences. Watching videos of great speeches is a great way to learn more about effective public speaking techniques. You will never get better in a day. It’s a day by day commitment to grow in confidence. If you feel uncertain when challenging yourself, that’s a great thing. Preparation is the key to success.

At the end of the day, if you’re looking to overcome your fear of public speaking, there are plenty of resources available to help you—you just need to know where to look. The biggest issue most people have is the willingness to get uncomfortable. Get out there and express yourself! By taking these steps, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a confident, successful presenter in no time!

06 Dec
Brian Parsley Happiness

How to Find True Happiness

Most people believe happiness comes from having lots of money or possessions, but that’s not true. Sure, those things can make you happy for a little while, but it’s not long-term happiness. Long-term happiness comes from finding your purpose in life. What gets you excited to get out of bed in the morning? When you’re happy, you’re more likely to achieve your goals because happiness releases dopamine. That’s why chasing money is a never-ending cycle of emptiness. But if you discover your “why” in life, you’ll find fulfillment that doesn’t go away.

If you want to be truly happy, you need to find your “why”—the thing that drives you and gets you excited about life. When you have a sense of purpose, everything else falls into place. You’ll be more likely to stick with your goals because you’re driven by something bigger than yourself. And when you’re happier, you’ll be more productive because that dopamine I mentioned will give you a boost of energy and motivation.

But how do you find your why? Start by thinking about the things that make you happy. What are your passions? What makes you feel alive? These may not even have anything to do with your profession. That’s something people tend to forget. You don’t have to be a professional painter or singer.

Let’s say you love the outdoors. What about the outdoors? Why do you love it? How does it make you feel? What would be your dream outdoor experience? How doable is it today? If not, where can you start? You see, most people never try and unpack what would really make them happy. So how can you get somewhere when you don’t know where you’re going?

Once you have a good idea of what makes you happy, start brainstorming ways to turn those things into a career or a business venture too. Just because you’re in a totally different field doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

I have a friend Pieter Malan from South Africa. He was a Financial Advisor who was making loads of money, but unfulfilled. He loved making short videos and target shooting. So he began focusing on his passion and before he realized it, he’s doing it full-time on YouTube. He was able to leave his career to not just make more money, but live his dream.

If you can find a way to make money doing something you love, then you’ll never work another day in your life as they say. But even if you don’t make money in your passion, you’ll have more success than just a great paying career.

Finding true happiness is not about chasing money or possessions. Those things can make you happy for a little while, but they won’t last. True happiness comes from finding your purpose. Once you figure out that “why”, everything else will fall into place.

You’ll be more likely to achieve your goals and be more productive because happiness gives you a boost of energy and motivation. So don’t wait any longer—start finding your why today!

29 Nov
Brian Parsley Communication

How to have open and honest communication

Great communication is key to any healthy relationship, whether it be personal or professional. Oftentimes, people shy away from conflict because they believe it will lead to an argument.

However, avoiding conflict altogether can be just as harmful as arguing, if not more so. However, there are ways to communicate openly and honestly without coming across as confrontational. This isn’t a lost art, but you must have a strategy prior to your next conflict. This may seem a bit over simplified, but by speaking calmly and trying to understand the other person’s point of view, you can diffuse most situations before they escalate.

Conflict resolution doesn’t have to mean yelling and screaming. In fact, most conflicts can be resolved peacefully if both parties are willing to communicate openly and honestly. Even if the other person isn’t ready to talk calmly, if you focus on your tonality you’ll see them deescalate very quickly.

So the first step is for you to remain calm. It’s imperative not to let emotions get the better of you, as this will only make the situation worse. What are things you can do to ensure you can stay calm? One strategy is to consider how important this argument really is in the scope of your life. If this doesn’t impact you in a negative way in 20 years, is it really that important? Seriously. Consider what you’re willing to get that upset over right now. It’s called perspective and most times you’ll realize it’s just basic ego that’s getting in the way.

Once you’ve calmed down, try to see the other person’s perspective. If you can understand why they believe they’re right, you’re more likely to find common ground. Remember, everyone wants to be right—but that doesn’t mean that they are. Be open-minded and consider different points of view. Only then can you truly resolve a conflict.

Open and transparent communication is essential to any relationship—personal or professional. As we mentioned avoiding conflict might seem like the easy way out, but it can actually do more harm than good. The next time you find yourself in a situation where tempers are running high, remember to focus on you and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.

With a little understanding and patience, you’ll find most arguments are opportunities to create more meaningful relationships.

22 Nov
Brian Parsley Uncategorized

Only You Have the Power

It’s easy to forget why we started on our personal journey when we’re in the trenches, fighting our way to your personal and professional goals.

Life throws hardships and challenges at us left and right, and it’s tempting to give up and throw in the towel. Not only is it tempting, it’s easy. The world has made it easy for us to make an excuse or blame.

People nowadays are all too eager to coddle you when you don’t achieve something. It’s too easy to rationalize and justify.

When you feel that. When you hear that. When you see that. You must remember, only you are in power here.
You Are In Charge!

When you complain about the economy, people don’t want to buy, my partner doesn’t support me, my friends won’t help me, the sales aren’t good enough…whatever it is. When you complain about the ONLY things you actually have. You have nothing left.

You are always in charge of your life no matter what hand you were dealt. Other people can advise you but at the end of the day, only YOU can make the decisions for your life.

It sounds harsh but it’s true! If other people are making decisions for your life, then you aren’t really living are you? You are just existing and going through the motions day after day after day…

Now I’m not saying that life is perfect and that everything will be handed to you on a silver platter, but if YOU don’t take control, then who will? Who will make the decisions for your life? Who will create the future that YOU want? No one else is going to do it for you! So whatever hand you were dealt in life, make the best of it and never give up on yourself because only YOU have the power here!

It’s easy to forget our “why”–why we’re doing what we’re doing when challenges pop up seemingly out of nowhere (which let’s be honest, they do). It would be so much easier to just give up sometimes but if we did that whenever things got tough, we would never get anywhere or achieve anything in life.

The next time you find yourself feeling like giving up, remember why you started on this journey in the first place and all of the reasons why you want to see it through until the end. Only YOU have the power here so do something about it!

09 Nov
Brian Parsley Uncategorized

Overcoming Your Fears

Overcoming Your Fears

Everyone has two major fears: what if I am not good enough and what if I fail? The good news is that these fears can be overcome with the right mindset. Having a great attitude is important, but believing in yourself is imperative. There’s a big difference between confidence and arrogance, but if you’re not willing to make yourself uncomfortable and challenge yourself, you’ll never achieve your goals. This applies to both your work and personal life.

Why Are You Afraid?:

One of the best ways to overcome your fears is to ask yourself why you’re afraid in the first place. What happens if you do fail? And compare that to what if you do nothing? Then what? Personal growth isn’t easy, but when you push yourself amazing things happen.

Once you know why you’re afraid, it’s time to face your fears head on. This means putting yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable and challenging yourself to grow. This might mean taking on a new project at work or volunteering for a leadership role in your personal life. It’s important to remember that facing your fears doesn’t mean being reckless or careless; it simply means being willing to step outside of your comfort zone and take risks.

The Rewards of Overcoming Your Fears:

Overcoming your fears comes with its own set of rewards. When you push yourself, you’ll find that you’re capable of more than you ever thought possible. You’ll also build confidence in yourself and your abilities, which will help you achieve even more in the future. Finally, by facing your fears head on, you’ll also become more resilient and better able to handle whatever life throws your way.

If you find yourself held back by fear, remember that you have the power to overcome it. By asking yourself why you’re afraid and facing your fears head on, you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve. So don’t be afraid to challenge yourself—the rewards are definitely worth it!

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